The agony of limbo

There are few things I hate more than a transitional period where I am done with one phase of life, but not quite on to the next. Much of the identity that came with your former life is gone, and you wait, longing for the adventure that seems to ride in on a molasses river. It seems an eternity before it will arrive. Limbo!

The worst part is the waiting, the over analyzing, the wondering, and the feeling of instability. The last few months have, and continue to be, such a period for me. I am in the final stages of a divorce from my first wife. The emotional trauma that comes with such an event has made me relish the thought of slowing down and focusing on the core essentials in life. However, as the days and months have passed I have become increasingly more capable of dealing with life. I am nearly 5 months removed from the moment when we admitted that it just wouldn't work. During this time I have had a wonderful opportunity to focus on me and how to improve myself. However, the last few bits of legal paperwork are still sitting on the judges desk waiting to be signed.

So, I find myself ready to move on. Ready to engage life again. Ready to (dare I say it?) re enter the terrifying world of girls and dating. But, I can only stare at that adventure as it slowly rides toward me. Everyday I hope that I will hear that all the paperwork has been signed and finalized, and every day has ended in silence. It's a maddening feeling to know that you have done everything you can do and know that there is more to be done. The boat seems closer than ever, but it isn't here yet. Limbo!

I hope the boat comes with seat belts. I just know it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Why I love DropBox

For the last few semesters I have been using a service called Dropbox. I love it! There have been so many times when I needed to access important files for school that are stored on my laptop. I know, it's a laptop I should have it with me at all times. But sometimes I don't. Dropbox has made it dead easy for me to go online and get my files from anywhere with an internet connection. It has also made it possible for me to work on a project from two (or more) computers. I have a laptop and a desktop and it's just convenient to on the desktop when I can, and then move to the laptop and have everything sitting there. This product has seriously changed the way I do school. The best part is that its FREE. I never worry about my laptop crashing, because I keep all my really important stuff in my dropbox. That way I can get to it from anywhere I want, and I can get it back if my computer ever dies. If you don't use this product currently, you should totally check it out!

If you use this link you will get an extra 256 megs for free.

My New Year’s Resolution

I, like so many others, have Identified a few areas of my life that I would like to improve during this year. One of these areas is Finance! One of my very best friends gave me a book for Christmas entitled “My Total Money Makeover” by Dave Ramsey. I read it in just a few hours and I was hooked. That book made me see that I needed to live on a budget! It was the first time I could see a systematic way for met to get rid of the debt that I have, and build wealth for my future. This subject has weighed heavily on my mind recently. I’ve known for a while that by the time I retire Social Security will be a thing of the past. I don’t plan on collecting a dime from that program, so I have to plan my own retirement. Now I finally know how!
Here is the premise of the book in a nutshell.

1. Get $1000 in an emergency (liquid) fund as fast as you can
   
2. Order your debts smallest to largest
   
3. Pay the minimum on all debts except the smallest. Throw everything you have at this one
   
4. As you pay off the small ones, add that amount to the next smallest one (The debt snowball!)
   
5. Revisit your emergency fund. Get it to the point that you could live off of it for 6 months
6. Once you are out of debt, use all that money you were paying to creditors, and start investing!
   
7. Invest, invest, invest!
   
8. Once you can live off of 8% of your investments every year you have enough to retire

It’s not that ground breaking, and it’s nothing you haven’t heard from your grandmother, or from church. But, it’s the first time those concepts really made sense to me. I’m really excited because I have a plan now that will get my car paid off in just over a year!
So, if I am ever wealthy in the future it is safe to assume that Dave Ramsey had a lot to do with it.

Perhaps now is a good time to refocus on what matters most

In a conference talk that Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave recently he spoke about the growing patterns of trees. He said, “during seasons when conditions are ideal, trees grow at a normal rate. However, during seasons when growing conditions are not ideal, trees slow down their growth and devote their energy to the basic elements necessary for survival.” He then went on to describe how we should follow this example. When life becomes hard and conditions are less than ideal, we need to stop trying to plow ahead in life. We need to get back to basics and focus on what matters.

Well, I heard the talk, but I didn’t internalize it for a while. It wasn’t until I was visiting my family and their home teachers came over for a visit. They referred to this talk again, and this time it hit me. THIS IS FOR ME! I’ve been trying to plow on ahead as if nothing is going on in my life. I moved into singles housing at BYU and have been living with other single guys. I keep going to school and I try to do the best I can. Well, it’s not working for me. I don’t sleep (because who sleeps in a college dorm?) and I am certainly not focusing on things that matter the most in life. So, I have come to the conclusion that I need to swallow my pride and start worrying about the important things in life again. I’m moving home (I know I’m 26, there should be a law against this or something). My home environment is really good, and I hope to drink it in and refocus on the things in life that will pull me through this hard time, and establish a foundation to move on to better things in life.

I really feel that one of the important things in life is looking outward for chances to serve others. I am still extremely concerned for the Lewis family. I know I’ve had a good response so far to the post I made about their auto accident. Please keep donating to the fund. Getting back to basics for them right now means that they need to get some stability. This will really help them, and it will help you too because you will be giving service.

As we commemorate 10 years the Lewis’ begin year 1

Stuart William Lewis, 43 years old and Karalee Lewis, 18 years old, both of American Fork, Utah, perished in a car accident in Tabiona, Utah, on November 25, 2010. According to the Salt Lake Tribune, the Lewis family was about 10 minutes away from their intended destination when their 18 year old daughter, who was driving, pulled out in front of a semi truck at the intersection of State Road 35 and State Road 208.
According to police, the driver was unable to avoid the crash and hit the driver’s side of the Oldsmobile Silhouette van the family was riding in. The two Lewis members, identified above, died at the scene of the crash. Other family members, Trudy Ann Lewis, 46, James Andrew Lewis, 15, and Abigail Lewis, 11 were injured, with the two children being flown to Primary Children’s Medical Center in critical and serious condition. All were reported to have been wearing their seatbelt.
As reported at ronkramerlaw
I can’t help but feel sad for this family, as my family and I have a unique perspective on this sort of tragedy. I want to help. I know I have readers out there. I wonder if we can’t do something to help this family out.
“Relatives have set up a fund at the Bank of American Fork called the Trudy Makin Lewis fund. Trudy is the mother/wife who was injured in the accident. I understand they are quite desperate financially, now that their bread-winner has died and especially in view of the enormous medical bills they are facing.” – John Hollenhorst KSL news.
You can donate to this fund at any Bank of American Fork. Just tell the person at the bank you would like to make a donation to the "Trudy Makin Lewis Fund."
I know that a similar fund was put in place for my family, and it helped a LOT! It is because people took time to help us out that we were able to accomplish as much as we were could. I ask with the most sincerity that I can muster, please help this family! If you live close by please find out what you can do to help them. I do not know if they are members of the LDS church, but please try to contact a bishop in American Fork and find out what you can do to help. Anything, from money, to meals, to thinking of you cards will help. This family desperately needs help, let’s give it to them.
I could not find a way to contribute to this fund online. I am in contact with KSL, so if they alert me to any news I will post it here. If anyone else can figure out how to contribute online please post it in the comments.

The worst storm we’ve had in 10 years

…Well, that’s how they pitched it anyway. I don’t want to take away from the havac that the storm caused in Idaho, and even into Salt Lake. However, in little old Lindon and down in Provo we got nothing. It’s cold to be sure, but it isn’t anything that we don’t see on a regular basis in Utah. I was waiting for the power to go out and for massive trees to be blown over. I had planned on making a snow cave in the back yard with the massive amount of snow that was supposed to have fallen.

The storm was supposed to hit at 3:00pm, and then at 6:00pm. Well, 10:30pm rolled by and it still hadn’t gotten here. Now it’s the next morning and the ground outside is disappointingly not covered in white. Nothing is blown over, and the lights all work. After all of the hype I must admit that I am thoroughly disappointed. But, it’s still the holidays, so I will enjoy eating massive amounts of food and spending time with family.

We can all learn something from BYU football this season

We can try to come up with excuses, or reasons, for why BYU had such a horrible start to this season, but the truth of the matter is that they started 1 – 4 and looked to have a dismal season. When they could have called it a loss, and thrown in the towel, they dug deep and started from within. Bronco Mendenhall fired the defensive coordinator and took over the job himself. They also kicked O’Neil Chambers off of the team. I don’t pretend to know the reasons that these decisions were a good idea, but considering BYU’s 6 – 5 record you have to believe in the decisions that were made.

What I find incredible is that BYU looked inward to solve their own problems. Instead of wanting to blame inexperience, or outside forces, they faced the reality of their situation and did what they needed to do.

How often can we do this in our own lives? When life isn’t going the way that we want it is easy to want to blame other people for our hardships. It is much more difficult to accept that we (usually) have quite a lot to do with our situation. Even in the rare case when it is truly not our fault that life is going badly it is a futile exercise to look outward for a solution. We can only control ourselves, and we can only work on our own lives.

Just as BYU looked inward to solve their issues, we should be looking at ourselves to solve our problems. The Savior said it the best when he said “first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.” (Mathew 7:5)

Good luck against Utah next week!