There are few things I hate more than a transitional period where I am done with one phase of life, but not quite on to the next. Much of the identity that came with your former life is gone, and you wait, longing for the adventure that seems to ride in on a molasses river. It seems an eternity before it will arrive. Limbo!
The worst part is the waiting, the over analyzing, the wondering, and the feeling of instability. The last few months have, and continue to be, such a period for me. I am in the final stages of a divorce from my first wife. The emotional trauma that comes with such an event has made me relish the thought of slowing down and focusing on the core essentials in life. However, as the days and months have passed I have become increasingly more capable of dealing with life. I am nearly 5 months removed from the moment when we admitted that it just wouldn't work. During this time I have had a wonderful opportunity to focus on me and how to improve myself. However, the last few bits of legal paperwork are still sitting on the judges desk waiting to be signed.
So, I find myself ready to move on. Ready to engage life again. Ready to (dare I say it?) re enter the terrifying world of girls and dating. But, I can only stare at that adventure as it slowly rides toward me. Everyday I hope that I will hear that all the paperwork has been signed and finalized, and every day has ended in silence. It's a maddening feeling to know that you have done everything you can do and know that there is more to be done. The boat seems closer than ever, but it isn't here yet. Limbo!
I hope the boat comes with seat belts. I just know it's going to be a bumpy ride.
Kevin, you are an amazing person and anyone would be lucky to be with you. I'm so proud of the way you come through this. Thank you for being such an example.
ReplyDeleteYou can do it! Our prayers will be with you as you begin to rebuild. Keep us updated.
ReplyDeleteI wish you the best Kevin!
ReplyDeleteThere are seat belts, most people just don't use them. Be sure to buckle up. Also, while you wait on that molasses river, find constructive things to use your time with that will prepare you more for the bumpy ride ahead.
ReplyDeleteIf only it came with not only seatbelts, but a roadmap! Isn't it amazing how we think we know where we are going, but then, there are always surprises?
ReplyDeleteYou are awesome, and I know you'll be great. :)
I'm sorry to hear about the hard times in your life Kevin. I really can't say that I know how you feel, but I think you are taking the right approach. Just, don't jump back into dating too fast. Make lasting friendships first. Those usually bloom into relationships anyway. That helped me after breaking off an engagement and life seemed to work much better that way. You know what is best for you though.
ReplyDelete~Tami Jewett Porter (I'm on my husband's comp so it might say it's from some random stranger, but it's really from me) :)
Very eloquently stated, Kevin. You are handling this event with grace. Keep it up. Life is crazy, and you just gotta' take it one step at a time.
ReplyDeleteYou have been such an inspiration about looking at the glass half full. I am so proud of what your accomplishing in your life right now, even more to call you my brother..in law lol. Hang in there!
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